Comfort care and love
by Marie S Zachary
Summary: April's mother dies and she moves in with Mark and Roger. Collins befriends a student who's going through serious trouble in her life. All this and more happens in care comfort and love. Read, review and enjoy
1. Your heart will lead you home

Disclaimer... I don't own Rent... except for the movie on DVD

* * *

The only people who loved April was her mother, her boyfriend Roger and her best friend Mark. Her father had died when she was only six months old, of a long illness he'd had since before she was born.

April was fifteen at this particular time. Roger was eighteen. Mark was almost eighteen. Mark and Roger shared an apartment about 15 minutes away from April's house.

It started at midnight on a summer night in July. Roger and Mark were both sound asleep. Roger's phone rang.

"Who in GOD's green Earth would be calling me this late," he grumbled and picked up the phone.

"Hello"

"R-Roger"

He sat up straight. He recognized that voice. It belonged to his beloved April

"April sweetie"

"C-can you come over. I need you."

"Baby what-"

"My mom... she's dead."

"Okay April," he said, "I'll be there in fifteen minutes. Stay put. Everything's going to be okay baby"

He hung up the phone and woke Mark.

"Mark"

"Roger, it's midnight"

"April's mom died"

"What? Oh MY GOD! What's going to happen to her now"

"She'll probably be buried"

"Not her you ding-a-ling. April"

"I'm moving her in with us. She needs to be with people who love her not foster parents who don't give a fuck about anything but the money they get from the system"

Mark sighed.

"But Roger, how can you-"

"Look," Roger said, "right now I'm going to her house. There are a lot of things that need to be figured out and I'm sure that situations will arise but right now isn't the time to deal with them"

"I'm coming with you"

Roger hesitated

"Roger," Mark said sternly, "that wasn't a question. April is my friend too and she's going to need the support of both of us"

"Okay," Roger said, "I guess you're right"

Mark quickly dressed and they were off. It was an awkward ride. Mark kept trying to bring up practical topics but Roger just waved it away saying they would discuss it another time.

They got to April's house just as the paramedics were taking April's mother away on a stretcher in a body bag.

Roger rushed to April and took her in her arms.

"OH GOD ROGER," she sobbed

"Shush," he soothed, "It's going to be okay"

"I'll be all alone"

He shook his head.

"You'll be with us. I won't let anything more happen to you"

He held her for hours while she cried. Eventually it was getting late and Mark suggested they head back home. Roger nodded in agreement. He put his arm protectively around her shoulders and handed Mark the keys

"I want to sit in back with her," he explained

Mark nodded. He took the car keys silently and started up the car while Roger soothed April. The only sound they could hear on the ride home was April crying and Roger soothing her.

She was asleep by the time they got back to their apartment. Roger took her in his arms and carried her up to the apartment, placed her tenderly on his bed, kissed her gently and then Mark came in.

"Are you sure you can handle this?"

"Handle what Mark?"

"Roger, do you have any idea what kind of responsibility you're taking on. You're legally the adult in this appartment which means you're responsible for her"

"Mark, I'm not going to let her got to foster care. I'm her boyfriend and I love her"

"Yes I understand that... but how are you going to handle situations. You know April has a mind of her own sometimes"

Roger grinned. He knew April had a mind of her own and that was one thing he loved about her. She had spunk.

"Mark, now isn't really the best time to think of any of this. She just lost her mother.

"I know," Mark said with a sigh"

"Tomorrow we'll talk her to get some new things that she'll need," Roger decided

"Um... Roger there's a little thing we're going to need for that. It's called money"

"We'll just have to ask Benny. You know he'll lend it to us."

"I AM NOT ASKING THAT JERK FOR ANYTHING," Mark yelled

"Keep your voice down," Roger hissed, "and it's not like we have a choice"

"But Benny is a jerk"

"Yes," Roger agreed, "but he's still our friend and we need him now"

Begrudgingly Mark had to admit that Roger was right.

"Fine," he said, "but you go do it. I won't talk to Benny" Roger agreed and Mark left the room. Just then April woke up.

"Hey baby girl. Did you enjoy your sleep"

She nodded.

"Roger," she asked, "could you play me one of your songs"

Roger smiled.

"Of course," he said, "which one do you want to hear"

She flipped through his composition book and chose one

"There," she said, "that's one of my favorites.

Roger nodded and picked up his guitar. He played a gentle tune

_Sunny days and starry nights_

_Lazy afternoons_

_You count the castles in the clouds_

_And hum the little toons_

_But somehow right before your eyes_

_The sun fades away_

_Everything is different_

_And everything has change_

_If you feel lost and on your own _

_And far from home_

_You never alone, you know_

_Just think of your friends_

_They all will be waiting there_

_With love to share_

April was beginning to drift off to sleep again.

_And your heart will lead you home_

_Funny how a photograph can take you back in time_

To places and embraces

_That you thought you left behind_

_They're trying to remind you_

_That you're not the only one_

_That no one is an island_

_When all has said and done_

_If you feel lost and on your own _

_And far from home_

_You never alone, you know_

_Just think of your friends_

_They all will be waiting there_

_With love to share_

_And your heart will lead you home_

_They'll come a day when you're losing your way _

_And you don't know where you belong_

_They say that home is where the heart is_

So _follow your heart and _

Know _that you can't go wrong_

April was sound asleep now. Roger gently put the guitar down and lay down and fell asleep his arm protectively around hers.


	2. Try not to be afraid

Disclaimer: Don't own Rent

Don't own the song _Try not to be afraid_

Don't own _Your heart will lead you home_

* * *

April slept soundly though the night and woke up about noon the next day

"Morning sleepyhead," Roger said leaning in to kiss her.

"Hey"

"Did you sleep well"

"As well as I could"

He held her.

"We have to go back to my house to pick up-" She broke down crying.

"No," he said, "we're going to go shopping for new stuff. A friend of mine, Benny gave me the money to get you a bunch of things... all you'll need"

"Really"

"I thought going back would be too traumatic"

April nodded. Then Roger made her breakfast. He made her, her favorite, cream of wheat blueberry pancakes and bagels.

Then he and Mark took April shopping. First stop was the clothing store. They got her 150 worth of clothes including a black outfit to wear to the funeral.

She broke down and cried when she had to pick that out. He held her.

"I know April. I know it hurts right now. But you're not going to go through it alone. We're right there"

"Come on," Mark said, "lets go for ice cream."

Roger nodded and April nodded enthusiastically.

They went into the ice cream shop and ordered.

Next stop was the book store. April picked out several book she wanted and a few she would need for school the next year (on tape).

Next stop was the video store. Roger got April her favorite video

"Then they went into the pharmacy. They got the basic things she would need. Toothbrush, toothpaste... he even got her bubble-bath.

After a long day of shopping April was so tired that she feel asleep in the car. Roger picked her up when they got home and carried her to his bed. She woke up an hour later screaming from a nightmare. He rushed into her room.

"Shush it's okay April. It's okay"

He rubbed her back. Then he held her while he sang to her... this time without his guitar.

_Try not to be afraid, _

_So many things can happen._

_Nothings ever quite as bad _

As it might appear

_I'll give you all I've got _

_You know I can protect you_

_And try and stop you shedding _

_even one more single tear _

_Shelter from the storms_

_Refuge from the world outside_

_Safety from the dangers_

_Escape from all the disappointments _

_That time has passed_

_Healing of the wounds_

_The banishing of nightmares_

_An end to endless tortured nights _

_Untroubled sleep at last_

_This is the vow I made _

_I'll see it all come true now _

_And all you have to do for me_

_Try not to be afraid_

_I swear I'll be with you_

_This promise that I've made you _

_You will always be with me_

_Think of every thing you've got_

_Try not to be afraid_

_Try not to be afraid _

_Try not to be afraid_

"How am I going to get through the funeral tomorrow" she sobbed and cried in his arms for an hour until she fell asleep and he fell asleep with his arms protectively around her.


	3. No Air

Thank you Jamie for suggesting the song

* * *

The funeral was set for the next day.

"I can't do this"

"Yes April you can. I'm right with you. So is Mark. We're not going to abandon you"

"I know you're not but I'm scared. It means actually accepting the fact that my mother is dead... that I'll never see her again"

April burst into tears while Roger rubbed her back.

"Yeah you're mom's dead," he said, "but she's not gone. She's in heaven and she'll looking down at you right now and she's smiling she's so proud of you"

"How could she be proud of me? I couldn't save her"

Meanwhile, in a New Jersey grade school summer class, Collins was sitting at his desk grading some papers when there was a knock at the door.

"Who is it?"

The door opened and one of his students walked in.

"Mr. Collins?"

"Come on in Christine."

"Thank you"

She entered the room.

"May I sit down"

"Well I don't expect you to stand," he said smiling at the child

She sat down.

"So what's on your mind"

"Well I was reading the book you assigned us the other day and I'm having some... well confusion as to one of those parts"

"It can be confusing," he said gently

"Well Jennifer, the main character is being abused by her mom and everyone seems to be blaming her. Why do they blame her. She didn't do anything wrong. She's just an innocent kid. She's my age"

"Christine," he said gently seeing she was becoming hysterical, "is something going on in your life... that's likened to the book"

Christine closed the door, pulled up her shirt to reveal the bruises and welts on her back and rolled up her pants to show him the burn marks.

"April," Roger said gently back at the apartment, "of course you couldn't save her. There was nothing you could do. Don't blame yourself honey. It's not your fault"

"But if I had been awake... I could have gotten to tell her goodbye one more time. I could have told her I loved her one more time."

"She knew you loved her. Now would she want you blaming yourself like this"

"No?"

"That's right. She wouldn't want you blaming yourself for it. She loved you too much"

"It's hard not to"

"Come on," he said, "go take a nice hot bath and I'll make you some breakfast."

Collins gasped at the battered body of the 2nd grader before him. Instinctually he pulled her into a hug.

"Who did this to you"

"My dad. He's been like that ever since my mom died"

"Well he's not going to hurt you anymore Christine. I promise you that"

"But if you call CPS they'll take me to some place with foster people who don't care about me. That's what daddy told me"

_The hell I'll let that happen_, Collins thought to himself.

"If I can help it you'll be staying with me"

"Really?"

Collin nodded and softly sang to her.

_No-one's gonna harm you_

_Not while I'm around _

_Nothing's gonna harm you _

_Baby not while I'm around_

_Demon's are prowling everywhere_

_Nourerdays_

_I'll send them howling _

_I don't care_

_I've got ways..._

"DAMN," Mark shouted in frustration, "I keep burning the toast"

Roger laughed

"Better let me make breakfast Mark," he explained.

"Thanks Rog... how's April doing"

Roger sighed deeply.

"Today's going to be a rough day for her"

"I know. I feel so bad about this I could just cry"

"I haven't stopped crying since I saw her cry"

"Where is she now"

"Taking a bath"

Back in New Jersey Collins called CPS

"Hello I would like to report a case of child abuse"

He explained the situation.

"Thank you sir. We'll take care of it"

"Is there any chance she could stay with me. She trusts me and I do love this little girl"

"Please hold," the operator transferred him to the CPS Judge

After Collins again explained the situation the CPS judge asked several questions

"Where do you live"

"New York... but I teach in New Jersey"

"Do you have a suitable home for a child"

"I believe so"

"Any room-mates"

"Three," Collins said and explained the situation with Mark, Roger and April

The judge sighed

"Sir this is highly unusual. However I am willing to award you custody of this child assuming you pass inspection. I need you to fax over your address so I can send someone to check out the environment plus..."

After he hung up with the judge Collins immediately faxed over the information the judge required. Tina would be held in protective services until that night, after Collin's apartment had been inspected and passed inspection.

The funeral started at seven. April clung to Roger like a scared child. She sat on his lap most of the time while he held her, providing the comfort she needed. She had to give the eulogy and she cried all the way through it.

After the funeral, Roger had gone into the bathroom and Mark left to go on a date with Maureen when a handsome young man came up to April.

"Hi"

"Hi"

"I'm Greig"

"I'm not interested"

"Oh no, I'm not hitting on you. I'm a friend of your mother's and I have something that will make you feel better. Why don't you follow me outside"

"Why don't I not and pretend I did"

"This will take away the pain"

"Well... okay give it to me here"

He lead her to the hallway and slipped a small plastic bag of white power into her hands

"Just breathe it in through your nose. It will make you feel better"

April complied. Amazingly it worked. She did feel better. Just then Mark who forgot his scarf came back and saw April high with cocaine marks on her nose.

Just then Roger came out of the bathroom.

"Roger," Mark whispered, "we have a problem"

"What is 'our' problem Mark"

"It's April. She's high"

Roger looked at where Mark was pointing and nodded

"Yup she's high al-right"

"ROGER YOU CAN'T LET THIS GO. There needs to be some kind of consequence"

"Mark, I hardly think now is the right time. Besides we don't even know what happened"

"You can't let this continue"

"I'm not letting it continue. I'm going to have a talk with her after and find out what happened and then belt the hell out of the son of a bitch that did this to her"

"And what are you going to do about her"

"Mark as I said before I hardly think this is the right time. I guarantee she didn't know what she was doing

Just as they got home Collin's called.

"Hey Mark. Hey Roger. Hey April" He went onto explain the situation.

"Oh my GOD," Mark whispered, "we have GOT to get April out of the apartment when the inspection happens"

"Why? I won't treat her like a secret. She's nothing to be ashamed of. We'll simply get her into the bathtub when they are there"

"Fine but you're staying in the tub with her. I don't want her to drown herself"

Roger growled at Mark never to insult April again.

"I'm not insulting her. Though if you ask me she could use a little taste of the-"

"Well I'm not asking you Mark"

The inspection went well. Collins was approved and Christina would soon be moving in with them. Soon after April came down from her high and was feeling better hours later.

"Ugh what was that stuff that guy Greig gave me," she moaned

Roger held her and explained what it was.

"April," he said, "I want you to promise you will never take anything like that again. I can't lose you baby girl"

Then he got out his guitar and had her lay down while he sang to her.

Tell me how I'm supposed to

breathe with no air

If I should die before I wake

It's 'cause you took my breath away

Losing you is like living

in a world with no air

I'm here alone

didn't wanna leave

My heart won't move

it's incomplete

If there was a way that

I can make you understand

But how do you expect me

to live alone with just me

'Cause my world revolves around you

It's so hard for me to breathe

Tell me how I'm supposed to

breathe with no air

Can't live

can't breathe with no air

It's how I feel whenever

you ain't there

It's no air, no air

Got me out here in the water so deep

Tell me how you gonna be without me

If you ain't here, I just can't breathe

It's no air, no air

No air, air

No air, air

No air, air

No air, air

I walked, I ran, I jumped, I flew

Right off the ground to float to you

There's no gravity to hold me down for real

But somehow I'm still alive inside

You took my breath, but I survived

I don't know how, but I don't even care

So how do you expect me

to live alone with just me

'Cause my world revolves around you

It's so hard for me to breathe

No air, air

No air, air

No air, air

No air, air

No more

It's no air, no air

No air, air

No air, air

No air, air

No air


	4. I'll be there for you

Discalmer: Same as always

* * *

After April was asleep Mark knocked on the door to the room Roger and April shared.

"Roger, it's me"

"No shit captain Duh"

"Can we talk?"

"I think that's what we're doing"

"Roger, we need to talk face to face"

"April's sleeping"

"So we can talk on the fire escape"

Roger sighed

"Okay"

They walked in silence to the fire escape

"Roger she was high"

"Mark when they have a 'duh' contest you'll so win"

"This isn't a joke. She was high. She did something wrong"

"Again thanks for stating the obvious"

"Roger, she shouldn't have gotten high"

"That's true"

"Roger, don't you think she should be punished for-"

"For what," Roger asked a little annoyed, "for being played for a sap. Greig is the only one that should be punished"

"Yes but she made a choice. She didn't have to sniff"

"She didn't know what it was. He just said it was something that would make her feel better"

"Come on Roger. She's not stupid"

"You don't have to be stupid not to know what smack is"

"She should know what a smack is"

"Mark don't even think about it!"

"Calm down Rog. I'm not talking about anything big"

"Mark, she's been through so much already and it's the day of her mother's funeral"

"I understand but if you give them an inch they'll take a mile. If you give them a mile they'll take a yard"

"Mark, April's not Christine's age. She's been sheltered all her life and she made a mistake"

"She's one of my best friends I don't want to see her hurt"

Roger calmed down a little

"I know Mark. I don't want to see her get hurt either but she promised me she wouldn't do it again"

"How do you know she'll keep the promise"

"Um... maybe because she had a major hangover. Punishment enough I'd say"

Mark sighed.

"Look Rog the day will come when-"

"Mark, don't you think I know that"

"You know it up here," Mark said pointing to his head, "but do you know it in here" He put his hand on his heart.

Collins came outside.

"What are you guys talking about"

"About your perfect timing," Mark answered sarcastically then laughed.

"So," he added, "when is our girl coming"

"Our girl?"

"Christine?"

"Oh," Collins smiled, "she'll be here tomorrow"

"I can't wait to meet her," April said coming out

"Hey look who's up sleepyhead," Roger said pulling her in for a kiss

"I'll tell you she's going to love you"

"I haven't met her and I love her already"

Collin's smiled.

"Do you plan to adopt her," Roger asked

"Does a bear shit in the woods," Collins responded, "is the sun in the sky? Does a baby come out of his or her mother"

"I'll take that as a yes," April said laughing

"Hey Collins," Roger said, "I want you to know something... but I think it's best expressed in my song if you'll give it a listen"

"I love your songs Roger," Collins said

"Can I hear it too"

"Of course," Roger said before Mark could respond. Then he began. His eyes were on April the whole time

_So no one told you _

_life was gonna be this way _

_Your job's a joke_

_You're broke_

_You're love life's d.o.a _(with a glance at Mark who rolled his eyes)

_It's like you're always stuck in second gear_

_When it hasn't been your day, _

_your week, your month or even your year_

_But_

_I'll be there for you _

_When the rain starts to pour_

_I'll be there for you _

_Like I've been there before_

_I'll be there for you_

_Cause you're there for me too_

_You're still in bed at ten_

_And work begins at eight_

_You burned your breakfast so far_

_Things are going great_

_Your mother warned you there'd be days like these_

_But she didn't tell you when the world _

_has brought you down to your knees... _

_That_

_I'll be there for you When the rain starts to pour_

_I'll be there for you_

_Like I've been there before_

_I'll be there for you_

_Cause you're there for me too_

_No one could ever know me_

_No one could ever see me_

_Seems you're the only one who knows_

_What it's like to be me_

_Someone to face the day with _

_Make it through all the rest with_

_Someone I'll always laugh with _

_Even at my worst I'm best with you, yeah_

_It's like you're always stuck in second gear_

_When it hasn't been your day,_

_your week, your month or even your year_

I'll be there for you

_When the rain starts to pour_

_I'll be there for you_

_Like I've been there before_

_I'll be there for you_

_Cause you're there for me too_

At the end Roger pulled April into a romantic, gentle and passionite kiss.


	5. I'm with you

Disclaimer: Don't own it

Songs or Rent or Characters

* * *

Mark woke up first the next day. Collins woke up soon after. He was in the kitchen fixing breakfast when Mark came in.

"Hey Col, can I talk to you. I promise I won't annoy you"

"Mark," Collins said gently, "You don't annoy me. So what's on your mind, besides what we talked about last week"

Mark threw Collins a pitiful look.

"Well a couple of things are on my mind," he said, "where should I begin"

"Well the beginning is always a good place to start"

"Okay. To start with I'm worried about April."

Mark filled Collins in on what happened.

"I can understand why you would be concerned about that," Collins reflected with a thoughtful nod.

"I mean she should know-"

"Mark let me interrupt you for just a minute. There is no such thing as should have could have and would have. If you should have and you could have you would have"

"Great advise"

"Thanks"

"Now you should follow it"

"Don't you think I want to," Collins intoned, "it's not that easy."

"Nothing worth while is easy," Mark retorted with a thoughtful reflection.

"I mean, I don't even know if I'd succeed or not"

"Okay may I interrupt you for a minute"

"Of course"

"You didn't know if you would succeed in adopting Christine but you went for it anyway"

"That's true but-"

"You can't lose what you don't have"

"That's true also but Mark it's-"

"Not that easy I know. Look I'm going to the hospital to see Sara. I'll be back later"

Sara was Mark's girlfriend. She has been going out with Mark for 18 months and was diagnosed recently with bone cancer. Collins was not only a professor. He also had a medical degree and he knew that short of major intervention the case was hopeless. _One year maybe less_, the doctors told Mark.

"Hey Mark," Collins called out as he was leaving

"Yeah"

"Remember the tape"

Roger had recorded a song for Sara... written by Mark.

Ten minutes later he was in the hospital.

"Hey baby"

"Hey"

Sara was laying back on a mophine drip. So she wasn't feeling any pain.

"How do you feel"

"As good as I can for a dying girl"

"You're going to get better," Mark sobbed not believing it himself. He was one determined young man but he knew in his mind that some things can't be changed.

Sara nodded, not believing it.

"Can I play something for you," he asked

She nodded.

He put on the tape and the music played.

_Starlight and wonder _

_The universe seen through your eyes _

_The moon is a glorious halo _

_Hanging high over your head every night _

_Spinning and spinning _

_A flick of the wrist and a smile _

_And in the morning so early _

_Deep conversations are spoken _

_In tongues by sunlight _

_Tonight, you can dream you're a star _

_You can walk on the clouds _

_And float to the ground _

_And I'm with you _

_We stare out the window _

_And look to the sky every night _

_The stars are the beacons of heaven _

_And maybe one day you'll go up for a ride _

_Oh, you are the sunshine _

_You are your mother's religion _

_Down on her knees as she _

_Kisses your heartache away _

_Tonight, you can dream you're a star _

_You can walk on the clouds _

_And float to the ground _

_And I'm with you _

_Tonight, you can get very far _

_The calm and the storm _

_Are forever yours _

_And I'm with you _

_I've thrown coins in the fountain _

_I've been to the mountain _

_I've lived through the violence _

_I've seen what man can do to man _

_But I promise to be the best man I can _

_Hold on to something _

_Cause your life's about to begin _

_Oh, oh, oh, oh _

_Oho, ooh _

_Aah, hey, aah, oho, oh _

_Ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh _

_Ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh _

_Whoa hoah, oh _

_Oh oh, oh, oh _

_Oho, oho, oho, aah _

_Tonight, you can dream you're a star _

_You can walk on the clouds _

_And float to the ground _

_And I'm with you _

_Tonight, you can dream you're a star _

_You can walk on the clouds _

_And float to the ground _

_And I'm with you _

When the song was done Sara fell asleep in Mark's arms. Fifteen minutes later a gentle hand on his shoulder ceased his crying

"Mark, she's just sleeping," Collins who had just came in said.

"I know that," Mark replied, "but every time she closes her eyes I'm terrified she won't open them again"

Collins sighed inwardly and pulled his friend into a hug.

"Who's watching Christine"

"April's got her," he said


	6. Concrete Angel

Disclaimer: I don't own Rent... and I don't own the song Roger "wrote" that belongs to Martina McBride

* * *

April had taken Christina to the mall. There was a puppet show going on there. She thought Christina would love that. She was right. Christina loved it.

"April"

"Yeah sweetie"

"Thanks for taking me to see this. I had so much fun"

"Christine, I had a lot of fun too. You're like the little sister I never had but always wished I did"

"So does that mean you love me?"

"I love you with rainbow sprinkles," April said making the little girl giggle. That was a line in the puppet show.

After the puppet show April took her and got her a bunch of things she would need and want.

They had lunch afterwards and headed back. It was only a short walk to the apartment, but on the way back they passed a park.

"Wow, this looks like so much fun."

"Sweetie haven't you ever gone to a park before"

Christine shook her head.

"Well it's time to change that"

Meanwhile back at the building, Roger and Collins were talking

"Hey Col, have you seen April"

"Many times"

"Colins I'm serious"

Collins laughed.

"She's with Christine."

Roger sighed.

"What's wrong"

"I just wish she would have told me"

"You were asleep"

"I know. I understand that... but she could have left a note. I'm going to have to talk to her about this"

"I told her I'd tell you," Collins said, "and I forgot. So if anyone is responsible it's me"

Roger smiled.

"I'm still going to talk to her about it. I'm just going to let her know that I was worried and I want her to let me know from now on. After all, I can't expect her to do it if she doesn't know I want her to do it"

Collins nodded.

"So what's the story with Christine?"

Collins sighed and began.

"Her mother died when she was born. Her father couldn't handle it. At first he just ignored her. He thought of her as a nuisance. Soon when she began to demand his attention he started hitting her. Like when she was two and accidentally broke a statue he slapped her across the face. It got worse and worse as she got older."

"Oh my GOD. Poor kid. That reminds me of a song I wrote one time"

"Oh, what's it called"

"It's called Concrete Angel"

"Concrete Angel huh? Can I hear it?"

"Sure"

Roger picked up his guitar and started to play.

_She walks to school with the lunch she packed _

_Nobody knows what she's holdin' back_

_Wearin' the same dress she wore yesterday_

_She hides the bruises with linen and lace _

_The teacher wonders but she doesn't ask_

_It's hard to see the pain behind the mask_

_Bearing the burden of a secret storm_

_Sometimes she wishes she was never born_

_Through the wind and the rain_

_She stands hard as a stone_

_In a world that she can't rise above_

_But her dreams give her wings_

_And she flies to a place where she's loved_

_Concrete angel_

_Somebody cries in the middle of the night_

_The neighbor hear but they turn out the light _

_A fragile soul caught in the hands of fate_

_When morning comes it'll be too late _

_Through the wind and the rain_

_She stands hard as a stone_

_In a world that she can't rise above_

_But her dreams give her wings_

_And she flies to a place where she's loved_

_Concrete angel_

_A statue stands in a shaded place_

_An angel girl with an upturned face_

_A name is written on a polished rock_

_A broken heart that the world forgot_

_Through the wind and the rain_

_She stands hard as a stone_

_In a world that she can't rise above_

_But her dreams give her wings_

_And she flies to a place where she's loved_

_Concrete angel_

Just then the phone rang

"SPEAK!"

"Hey Rog, it's me," April's voice came from the answering machine, "I took Christine to see a puppet show and-"

"Hello?"

"Hey Rog, did you get my note?"

"No, you left a note?"

"Yeah...I left it on the kitchen table"

Roger sighed inwardly.

"Mark must have thrown it out before he left. Thank's for calling sweetie. I love you"

"I love you. We're in the park now. Want to join us"

"I'm there"

He hung up.

"Bye Col," he said and left to go to the park.


	7. I will be there

Disclaimer: I don't own Rent or the song in this chapter

* * *

Roger drove to the park and meet April there within a few minutes. She was kneeling down in the sandbox playing with Christine

"You're so much fun," Christine giggled.

"Have you ever been on the swings"

"No, but that would be so cool"

"Come on. I'll push you"

"My daddy used to push me down the stairs"

"Oh no sweetie," April explained, "it means helping you swing"

Roger met her by the swings. Christine was laughing at every push

"She is so sweet"

"I know baby. I hope one day when we have a child she looks exactly like you"

April smiled at the irony of this situation. Here her boyfriend was taking care of her and yet they were thinking, well him more then her, but both of them, were thinking about the future. First she had to at least turn 18

Still with a smile on her face she said, "I hope our child is like you... and has the best of both of us"

"April?"

"Yeah Rog"

"I love you"

"You have no idea how much I love you," she said and their lips met in a kiss.

At about 4 o'clock Roger looked at his watch.

"It's time to head back," he said, "Collins expecting us and he's taking us to the live cafe and out to Phantom of the opera tonight"

April brightened. Phantom of the opera was her favorite show.

"Who's gonna stay with me," Christine asked.

"You're going too kiddo," Roger explained, "only Collins is taking you to see the little mermaid"

"Yay! I love the little mermaid"

"Hey April, "Roger told her tossing her the keys, "You drive"

"What? Are you serious?"

"Very serious," he said, "come on it's easily. I'll talk you through it but you won't need me to anyway"

She did well until they got to parking. She banged into the curb. Into Mark's bike that he was about to take out for a ride.

"Collins," Mark said to his friend who was also outside, "go play with Christine. I need to talk with those two" Collins followed Mark's request.

"WHAT THE HELL IS THIS!"

"I was teaching her to drive"

"DRIVE INTO BIKES," Mark yelled angrily, "Look April driving is a privilege not a right"

"Mark I think you should calm down now"

"I THINK I SHOULDN'T. SOMEONE COULD HAVE BEEN KILLED.

Roger shot Mark a look that told him back off. He ignored the look

"If you're not going to drive carefully then you're not being responsible. You were being irresponsible. You could have ruined my bike. You need to learn that actions have consequences so you're confine the the loft for 3 days.

Roger glared at Mark.

"Come on honey," he said, "get ready for tonight"

"No," Mark exclaimed, "do you know what confined means?"

"DO YOU KNOW WHAT YOU'RE BEING A JERK MEANS."

"Damnit Roger back me up on this"

"No. I'm not going to back you up because you're being an idiot"

"You know it's valid"

"You're being ridiculous. Accidents happen"

"Yes they do and they are not going to happen when someone can get killed"

"Can I say something," April asked

"NO BE QUIET," Mark yelled causing April's eyes to fill with tears.

Roger put his arm around April.

"DON'T YOU EVER YELL AT HER LIKE THAT"

"She's my friend too. I can do what I want"

"You're not acting like a friend. You're acting like a jerk and if she doesn't go I don't go"

"Roger for GOD sake don't be unreasonable"

"I'm not being unreasonable. In the first place you don't have the right to do this"

"Yes I do. She's my friend"

"And I'm the one taking care of her. You have to understand she saw her mother be buried yesterday"

"YES AND GOT HIGH"

"I didn't know-"

"OH COME ON APRIL," Mark snapped, "You're not an idiot"

"I really didn't know," April said, "and I would never touch that shit again now that I do know. He said it would make me feel better. I thought it was just some naturalistic stuff"

"Whatever," Mark said, "Roger you should really back me up on this"

"Mark if you were right I would... but you're wrong in this" Roger took a deep breath, "I know you want what's best for her but you're not going about it the right way"

"I just don't know what to do. I know what it's like to watch someone you love destroy their life. That's what Jenny did"

Jenny was Mark's girlfriend. She had become a drug addict when her little brother died and ended up overdosing and dying. Mark sure as hell wasn't about to let that happen again to someone he loved.

"Mark, look," Roger said, "after tonight the two of us will sit down and discuss this situation. You're behavior towards her is unacceptable. Tonight we're going to enjoy ourselves. Just one warning. You're NOT going to say anything insulting to her or I will lock up your camera for a month do you understand"

"Roger I-"

"Do you understand"

Mark sighed

"I understand"

As April was getting ready for that night Roger came in with his guitar. He took April in his arms and kissed her neck.

"There's a song I want to share with you because I wrote it for you," he told her, "may I"

"I would love to hear it"

Roger strummed his guitar and started to play

_Tomorrow mornin' if you wake up _

_And the sun does not appear_

_I...I will be here_

_If in the dark we lose sight of love_

_Hold my hand and have no fear_

_'Cause I...I will be here_

_I will be here..._

_When you feel like bein' quiet_

_When you need to speak your mind_

_I will listen_

_And I will be here_

_When the laughter turns to cryin'_

_Through the winnin' and losin' and tryin'_

_We'll be together _

_'Cause I will be here _

_Tomorrow mornin' if you wake up _

_And the future is unclear_

_I...I'll be here _

_Just as sure as seasons are made for change_

_Our lifetimes are made for years_

_I...I will be here_

_I will be here..._

_You can cry on my shoulder_

_When the mirror tells us we're older_

_I will hold you_

_And I will be here_

_To watch you grow in beauty_

_And tell you all the things you are to me_

_I will be here_

_I will be true _

_To the promise I have made _

_To you and to the_

_One who gave you to me_

_I...I will be here _

_And just as sure as seasons are made for change _

_Our lifetimes are made for years_

_'Cause I..._,

_I will be here..._

_We'll be together_

_'Cause I will be here_


	8. I swear

Disclaimer: I don't owe Rent or any of the orginal characters. Credit goes to my friend Sara for two of the songs and some of the ideas.

* * *

That night after the show when April was asleep Roger pulled Mark outside and tore into him.

"Roger why are you acting like this"

"Why am I acting like this," he screamed smacking Mark upside the head, "you're joking right?"

"No, I'm serious and can you stop hitting me?"

"Well let's see," Roger began ticking off his fingers, "you have been rude to April when she buried her mother yesterday. You've been riding her like a broomstick"

"I have not"

"HELLO! Need I remind you that you attempted to confine her to the loft for three days THE DAY AFTER HER MOTHER WAS BURIED FOR A DAMN ACCIDENT WHERE NOBODY WAS HURT ANYWAY"

"Yeah and thanks a lot for backing me up," Mark said sarcastically

"I'm not going to back you up when you're wrong"

"Roger, we are in a position of responsibility now. We're cannot golf off"

"I'm not goofing off"

Mark held up his camera.

"Close on Roger who can't accept won't hold April accountable for being irresponsible."

Roger grabbed the camera away from him.

"Zoom in on Mark who lost his camera for a month because he doesn't know how to behave like a human being"

"Haha very funny Roger now GIVE IT BACK"

"You'll get it back in a month," Roger told Mark firmly, "Let's see how it is for you to lose something precious let alone having people behave the way you behaved to April"

"ROGER I WANT MY CAMERA BACK NOW!"

"Close on Roger who doesn't care"

Frustrated Mark sat and pouted as Roger walked into the apartment and locked up the camera.

Roger went back into the room he shared with April.

"Hey baby," he said seeing she was awake

"Roger," she said looking sad, "I'm sorry that you and Mark are fighting because of me"

Roger sighed inwardly as he held her.

"April look at me," he said gently but firmly, "Mark and I are not fighting because of you. We're fighting because Mark is being a jerk"

"I understand he's being unfair-"

"No, he's being a jerk"

"I shouldn't have had an accident"

"Nobody 'should' have accidents. They aren't planned. That's why the call them accidents. Mark on the other hand is being a complete and total jerk and he's not getting away with it"

"But," she said, "things...I mean changes are happening all over. It's so scary"

Roger nodded. This was a conversation he was prepared for.

"There are going to be a lot of changes... and here have already been. But some things will never change."

"Like what?"

"Like my love for you," he began, "and like the fact that I'll always be there"

He got out his guitar and began to play it.

"This is a song I wrote for you 3 days ago. I really want you to hear it"

"Okay," she said, "I'd love that"

He put his arm around her and kissed her, then began to play.

_I swear _

_by the moon and the stars in the sky_

_and I swear . _

_like the shadow that's by your side_

_I see the questions in your eyes_

_I know what's weighing on your mind_

_You can be sure I know my part_

_Cause I stand beside you through the years_

_You'll only cry those happy tears_

_And though I make mistakes_

_I'll never break your heart_

He paused a minute to look into her eyes.

"I think we need to set some basic rules"

"Rules-"

"Of the relationship," he continued

"Okay... how about no negativity... if we have a problem we talk it out"

Roger nodded in agreement.

"And," he added, "you listen to me and I listen to you"

April nodded her agreement. That sounded fair and responsible.

"Oh I have one. If we have to put off something that we're looking forward to we do it the next day or the earliest day that we can"

Roger nodded in complete agreement.

"And," he added, "no yelling unless it's to get the other person's attention"

"And absolutely NO taking back once in a lifetime opportunities."

Roger nodded

"And finally," she said continue your song, I wanna hear it"

_And I swear by the moon_

_And the stars in the sky _

_I'll be there _

_I swear _

_like the shadow that's by your side _

_I'll be there_

_For better or worse_

_Till death do us part_

_I'll love you with every _

_beat of my heart_

_And I swear_

They were interrupted by a knocking at the door.

"Come in," Roger said as Mark opened the door.

Instinctively Roger put an arm around April protectively.

"What is it Mark?"

"I actually came to apologize to April. I shouldn't have acted the way I did to her and I'm sorry"

"So why are you telling me. She's right there"

"I'm sorry April," he said, "it's just that you're my friend too and I feel like..."

"Mark, it's okay. I understand"

"Thanks. Friends again Rog?"

"We never stopped being friends"

"Really?"

"Really," Roger and April said in unison.

"Can I have my camera back," he asked hopefuly

"Yes," April said at the same time Roger said "no"

"He can have it back next month"

"How about two weeks," April said, "I'm sure that's long enough for him to learn his lesson"

Roger had to smile at how compassionate April was.

"Goodnight Roger"

"Night Mark"

"Goodnight April"

"Sweet dreams Mark"

Then he left and Roger continued his song.

_I'll give you every thing I can _

_I'll build your dreams with these two hands_

_We'll hang some memories on the wall _

_And when_

(_And when)_

_just the two of us are there_

_You won't have to ask if I still care_

_Cause as the time turns the page_

_My love won't age at all_

_And I swear _

(And _I swear)_

_By the moon_

_And the stars in the sky _

_I'll be there _

_(I'll be there)_

_For better or worse _

_Till death do us part_

_I'll love you with every beat of my heart_

_And I swear_

And I swear

(And _I swear)_

_By the moon_

_And the stars in the sky _

_I'll be there _

_(I'll be there)_

_For better or worse (Better or worse) _

_Till death do us part_

_I'll love you with every single beat of my heart_

_I swear I swear I swear _


	9. The start of something new

Disclaimer: Don't own it or the song

* * *

Roger and April set very good rules. But there was one rule that they did not set. Neither of them thought to set it. That rule was, no sexual intercourse.

"Roger," April said with tears in her eyes, "that was such a beautiful song"

He kissed her.

"It's not half as beautiful as the one I wrote it for"

April blushed three shades of red.

That was when things began to get heated. They started kissing, gently at first then it turned deeper, more passionate.

Meanwhile, in Collins neck of the woods more drama was taking place.

The phone rang. It was the hospital.

"Hello. OH SHIT!"

Mark woke up

"Col, what's wrong"

Collins sighed.

"It's Sara. There's a problem"

"I'm going with you"

"You can't. Someone needs to watch Christine"

"Roger and April are here... if anything happens they can cover for awhile"

Collins knew there was no arguing with Mark.

"Okay," he said, "grab your jacket and let's go"

Back in Roger and April's room, Roger started undressing her, slowly and gently, massaging every area that he took off. He cupped her breasts in his hands rubbing them gently.

"Oh this feels so good," she said

Neither of them thought of the new roles they were now in.

Neither of them thought, _we shouldn't be doing this now..._

Neither of them considered the consequences

After she was fully undressed it was her turn to undress him. She was good at undressing. Nobody could do it better then her. The next thing they were on each other. Neither of them thought of the word _condom _as he slipped inside her.

Four hours later they lay intwined with their arms around each other.

"April," Roger whispered, "I love you so much more then words can ever say."

She kissed him. Then he started singing a song he wrote... while holding her.

_Living in my own world _

_Didn't understand _

_That anything can happen_

_When you take a chance_

_I never believed in_

_What I couldn't see_

_I never opened my heart yeah!! _

_To all the possibilities_

_I know that something has changed_

_Never felt this way_

_And right here tonight_

_This could be the start_

_Of something new_

_It feels so right_

_To be here with you_

_And now looking in your eyes_

_I feel in my heart_

_The start of something new_

_Now who'd of ever thought that_

_We'd both be here tonight_

_And the world looks so much brighter_

_With you by my side_

_I know that something has changed_

_Never felt this way_

_I know it for real_

_This could be the start_

_Of something new_

_It feels so right_

_To be here with you_

_And now looking in your eyes_

_I feel in my heart_

_The start of something new_

_I never knew that it could happen_

_Till it happened to me_

_I didn't know it before But now it's easy to see_

_It's a start Of something new_

_It feels so right_

_To be here with you_

_And now looking in your eyes_

_I feel in my heart_

_That it's the start Of something new_

_It feels so right To be here with you_

_And now looking in your eyes_

_I feel in my heart_

_The start of something new_

_Start of something new_


	10. Walk on

Sara this chapter is dedicated to you since I know how much you love the singer who really recorded this song...lol

Thank you so much everyone for your reviews. They've really been helpful

If anyone has any ideas or wants to talk my AIM is misslaurie19 but don't IM me to flame. Just conversation or ideas or constructive feedback that you might want 2 futher explain.

* * *

Not long after, Roger heard the sound of coughing in the guest bedroom, now Christine's room. He automatically snapped into parenting mode.

He and April dressed and went into Christine's room.

"Hey sweetie how are you feeling"

"My tummy hurts"

April felt her forehead with a kiss.

"Roger," April whispered, "she's burning up"

"Stay with her," Roger instructed April, "I'm going to go call Collins"

Meanwhile Collins was struggling desperately to keep Sara alive.

"Dr. Collins phone call for you on line 1"

"Shit! Thomas take over"

"Yes Dr. Collins"

"Hello?"

"Collins it's Roger. Christine's burning up"

"Fuck," Collins muttered under his breath and thought to himself _can this day get any worse _

_"I'll be right over," he sighed. He was back at the loft moments later._

From then on in everything went downhill. At the end of the day Collins was in tears.

"Collins, what's wrong"

"It's just been a really bad day"

"Is Sara okay?"

"She's alive if that's what you mean?"

"Collins," Roger said, "this reminds me of a song I wrote"

"Maybe it can help me"

Roger smiled, picked up his guitar and started to play.

_Oh ain't life wonderful_

_When everything is right_

_But sometimes wonderful_

_Can fall apart sometimes_

_When your troubles knock you down_

_Pick yourself up off the ground and_

_Walk on_

_Walk on_

_Nothing ever stays wrong that long_

_Walk on_

_Oh walk on_

_Don't just stand there in the storm_

_Walk toward the light till you find the sun_

_And you'll be better off in the long run_

_And walk on_

_Oh it's a heartache when love comes to an end_

_But even though your heart breaks_

_You know it's gonna mend_

_Keep the faith right through goodbye_

_And don't you ever break your stride_

_Walk on_

_Walk on_

_Nothing ever stays wrong that long_

_Walk on_

_Oh walk on_

_Don't just stand there in the storm_

_Walk toward the light till you find the sun_

_And you'll be better off in the long run_

_And walk on_

_Walk on_

_Walk on_

_Nothing ever stays wrong that long_

_Walk on_

_Oh walk on_

_Don't just stand there in the storm_

_Walk toward the light till you find the sun_

_And you'll be better off in the long run_

_And walk on_

_Walk on_

_Walk on_

_Ohhh walk on_

_Walk on_

_Oh walk on_

Collins smiled as Roger put a hand on his arm

"I learn that from you," Roger said to Collins.


	11. You Raise Me Up

PLEASE NOTE THAT AT LEAST TWO WEEKS HAVE GONE BY IN THIS STORY SINCE THE LAST CHAPTER

PLEASE NOTE THAT AT LEAST TWO WEEKS HAVE GONE BY IN THIS STORY SINCE THE LAST CHAPTER.

**Roger's memory**

_He was a kid, maybe 14 or 15. He had been going through a difficult time. He felt alone and afraid. _

_"Roger?" _

_He looked up and saw Collins._

_"Hey, I thought you were really brave of you to stand up for April today. I know that it was hard for you, because you got in trouble unfairly but taking the blame for her was really cool of you"_

_"How did you know I was lying when I said I did it?" _

_"Because I happened to have seen what was going on."_

_"Thanks for not busing me on it man... or busting me at all"_

_Collins smiled and gave him a big hug._

_"It's okay man... but you owe me a soda at the life"_

_"Dinner's on me," Roger said with a grin. _

"Roger," April's voice came through breaking his thoughts.

"Hey sweetie. How's Christine feeling"

"I think I caught what she had. I've been nauseated since I woke up this morning"

"Oh honey"

He felt April's forehead.

"You're not warm but it might be a touch of the stomach flu. How about I get you some soup from the Life.

"Okay," April said with a smile, "and cracker too"

"Sure. Anything else?"

"Some pickles," April said, "I don't know I'm just in the mood for pickles.

Roger had to chuckle.

"Okay," he said, "Col, wanna come with me"

"Sure"

Collins sensed that Roger had something on his mind.

They walked down the street in silence for awhile before Roger broke the silence

"I just want you to know," he began, "you're my best friend... besides April or course"

"And Mark?"

"Well okay," Roger said with a smile, "Mark is equal to you"

Collins couldn't help but smile.

"Roger," he said, "you don't need to thank me"

"I know I don't need to but I don't think you have any idea how much your friendship means to me. It's interesting. I wrote a song in high school-"

"What else is new"

Roger laughed and playfully punched Collins shoulder.

"I dedicated it to you."

"Can I hear it?"

"Yeah, that's why I mentioned it" Then Roger started to sing

_When I am down and, oh my soul, so weary_

_;When troubles come and my heart burdened be;_

_Then, I am still and wait here in the silence,_

_Until you come and sit awhile with me._

_You raise me up, so I can stand on mountains;_

_You raise me up, to walk on stormy seas;_

_I am strong, when I am on your shoulders;_

_You raise me up: To more than I can be._

_You raise me up, so I can stand on mountains;_

_You raise me up, to walk on stormy seas;_

_I am strong, when I am on your shoulders;_

_You raise me up: To more than I can be._

_You raise me up, so I can stand on mountains;_

_You raise me up, to walk on stormy seas;_

_I am strong, when I am on your shoulders;_

_You raise me up: To more than I can be._

_You raise me up, so I can stand on mountains;_

_You raise me up, to walk on stormy seas;_

_I am strong, when I am on your shoulders;_

_You raise me up: To more than I can be._


	12. I can't help falling in love with you

Disclaimer: Don't own it don't claim to own it

* * *

April was so nauseated she couldn't even hold down the soup. She had been throwing up intermittently all day.

"I'm really worried about her Mark"

"It's probably nerves. She's been through a lot in the past few weeks and then with yesterday and all..."

Roger nodded. Yesterday was an 'everything that can go wrong did,' day for April.

"If this doesn't stop by tomorrow I'm taking her to get checked out. She could be really sick"

Mark nodded in agreement. He too was worried about April.

"It's probably just nerves," Mark repeated with more confidence then he felt.

"Roger," her normally melodic voice crocked, "could you bring in some crackers sweetheart"

Roger ran in with the crackers.

"Here baby," he said sitting her up and helping her eat them.

Just then Collins came into the loft and called through the door

"Roger, got a minute?"

"Sure what's up?"

"How about you come out here or let me in so I don't have to yell through the door"

Roger smiled and opened the door.

"You might not want to come in though. April's sick"

"No she's not. She's pregnant"

"PREGNANT," Mark, Roger and April exclaimed at the same time.

"You mean I'm going to be a father," Roger asked

"No it means you're going to be a cow," Collins answered sarcastically, "yes her blood test came back that she's pregnant"

April had gotten some blood work done about a week ago.

Mark had insisted she go because she was feeling tired and he was afraid she might be anemic.

"Apparently she's not anemic," Mark muttered to himself.

"How pregnant am I," April asked

"Two weeks or so," Collins replied.

"Great," Mark said, "then she can get an abortion and-"

Roger pushed his friend out of the room

"What!"

"An abortion? This is a baby not a burden. What is your problem anyway Mark"

"I DON'T HAVE A PROBLEM. I'M REALISTIC. ROGER YOU TWO CAN'T HAVE A BABY NOW"

"Why would I want to have an abortion," April said quietly coming out of the room, "this is my baby. He or she is a part of who I am"

"April you don't know what your talking about," Mark said. As soon as he said that Roger's hand cracked across Mark's face.

"Don't you dare talk to her light that," he scolded, "honestly Mark I don't know what the hell your problem is but you do NOT treat April like she's a-"

"Like she's what. She's a child herself Roger."

"Mark I swear I'm going to break your camera you say one more thing like that to April again"

"I'm sorry Roger but I happen to be realistic. What kind of life would that baby have"

Again Roger glared at Mark.

"Look if you don't want an abortion let's consider adoption"

"Adoption huh? I don't think so"

"He or she would be a bastard because his or her parents wouldn't be married"

That earned Mark another slap across the face.

"First of all don't you EVER call MY CHILD a bastard again-"

"Calm down Roger it's not a child yet. It's a clump of cells"

"The hell it is," Roger shouted, "It's a baby"

"I agree with Roger," April said

"You have no say in this," Mark shouted at April

"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT. THIS IS HER BABY TOO"

"Roger this is an adult decision and since I'm the only one in this loft CAPABLE of acting like an adult I'll make it"

"THE HELL YOU WILL," April and Roger said in unison.

"Roger and I will get married," April said decisively, "and raise the baby together"

"Where are you going to raise him or her? Fairy Tale World? Because you have No idea how hard marriage is"

"Oh," Roger challenged, "and you do?"

"My sister got married young. It was hell for them. Yeah the love each other but there are a lot of struggles. Plus you are responsible for her"

"It can be hard I'll admit but we can make it work"

"YOU'RE NOT GETTING MARRIED"

"Yes we are," April and Roger said in unison

"You're-"

"We'll work it out."

"I'll sign for you two to get married," Collins offered.

Mark rolled his eyes walked into the room and slammed the door

"Don't worry," Collins said, "I got your back you two"

"Thanks man," Roger said and hugged his friend.

"Rog," April said, "you're not mad about our being parents are you?"

"Mad? No honey of course I'm not mad"

"How do you feel about this"

"I think the song I wrote will tell you how I feel"

Wise men say only fools rush in

But I cant help falling in love with you

Shall I stay

Would it be a sin

If I cant help falling in love with you

Like a river flows surely to the sea

Darling so it goes

Some things are meant to be

Take my hand, take my whole life too

For I cant help falling in love with you

Like a river flows surely to the sea

Darling so it goes

Some things are meant to be

Take my hand, take my whole life too

For I cant help falling in love with you

For I cant help falling in love with you


	13. Till there was you

Mark sat in the hospital room that Sara was in, lying in a coma stroking her hair.

"Hey sweetheart how are you feeling?"

She of course didn't answer him. How could she? She was in a coma.

"April and Roger are being so stupid," he continued, "she's pregnant and they're getting married. I think she should have an abortion but will anyone listen to me? No!"

The only sound he heard when he paused was the whirling of her machines. The machines that were keeping her alive. _Keeping her alive, _he thought bitterly, _what kind of life is that_. The Sara that he knew was alive and energetic. The Sara that he knew was able to hold a conversation with him. The Sara lying in that bed was only alive because machines were pumping her heart for her and controlling every other function one could possibly think of. That wasn't alive. That wasn't his Sara. This was a shell.

"Honestly what kind of a life would the baby have. He or she would have two irresponsible parents. They think getting married and having a baby is so easy. It's not. They're already talking about names. Names for GOD SAKE! Roger Jr. if it's a boy and Destiny if it's a girl. I mean for crying out loud it's not a baby it's just a lump of cells right now. Get rid of the problem. Flush it down the toilet. Don't get attached to this thing like it's a Roger Jr. or a Destiny. It's not fair to the baby and it's not fair to Roger or April."

Slowly a tear fell from Mark's face.

"I miss you Sara"

He softly started to sing a song that Roger wrote.

There were bells...on the hill

,but I never heard them ringing

No, I never heard them at all,

Till there was you. There were birds...in the sky,

But I never saw them winging,

No, I never saw them at all

Till there was you.And there was music

,and there were wonderful roses

,they tell me, in sweet fragrant meadows of dawn and dew. There was love, all around but I never heard it singing

,no, I never heard it at all

Till there was you. Then there was music and wonderful roses they tell me, in sweet fragrant meadows of dawn and dew

There was love all around But I never heard it singing

No, I never heard it at all

Till there was you

Till there was you


	14. Ready set don't go

Thank you to my friend Sara (M.E.T.) for

1) the song idea and

2) the insperation for the new characters.

* * *

Mark got home, threw his coat of the couch and sat next to Roger.

"Hey"

Roger ignored him

"Still not talking to me?"

"GO AWAY"

"Roger-"

"Do you have any idea what it's like? No you don't. You can't know what it's like to go through what she's going through. What makes it worse is that the people who love her, or one of them don't even seem to care"

Mark finally exploded.

"THE HELL I DON'T KNOW WHAT SHE'S GOING THROUGH! YOU THINK MY LIFE IS ALL PEACHES AND CREAM? GUESS AGAIN"

"I don't care"

"You see?"

"WHY THE HELL SHOULD I CARE," Roger snapped, "YOU DON'T CARE ABOUT APRIL"

"OF COURSE I CARE ABOUT HER. JUST BECAUSE I DON'T TREAT HER LIKE A BREAKABLE-"

"SHE IS BREAKABLE MARK. HER MOTHER DIED LESS THEN A MONTH AGO"

"YEAH, AND MY GIRLFRIEND IS DYING. SHE'S ONLY HALF A DAY OLDER THEN ME AND SHE'S DYING. D-Y-I-N-G ROGER. I COULD LOSE HER AT ANY MOMENT. THAT'S HELL FOR ME"

"Mark, do you expect me to feel sorry for you? It's hard what you went through and I wish for your sake that Sara wasn't so sick but you're being like Benny"

"DO NOT COMPARE ME TO BENNY. I'M NOT A JERK AND I'M NOT A PHONY"

"YOU TRIED TO FORCE APRIL TO GET AN ABORTION. THAT'S PRETTY JERK-Y TO ME"

"FOR YOUR OWN SAKE AND FOR APRIL'S SAKE. COME ON THINK ABOUT IT. WHAT KIND OF LIFE WOULD THIS BABY HAVE"

"A LIFE WITH TWO PARENTS WHO LOVE HIM OR HER VERY MUCH"

Just then a knock on the door was heard

"Come in"

"Roger, you don't just say come in. What if it was a murderer"

Roger rolled his eyes.

"Right a murderer who knocks on the door"

It turned out to be their ex-friend Timmy. He was with his brother Andrew.

"WHAT DO YOU WANT," Mark asked bitterly.

"I feel the need to apologize-"

"And I feel the need to say fuck you," Mark interrupted Timmy.

"Look, you have to understand-"

"Go fuck yourself"

"Mark I only did what I thought was right"

"Great... go fuck yourself"

"Roger maybe you can talk to Mark for me"

"I can't talk to him. It goes in one ear and out the other"

"DAMMIT MAYBE YOU SHOULD TRY LISTENING TO ME FOR A CHANGE," Mark intoned angrily, "INSTEAD OF SHOOTING OFF AT THE HIP TIMMY MAYBE YOU SHOULD CLOSE YOUR MOUTH AND TAKE THAT STICK OUT OF YOUR BUTT AND OPEN YOUR DAMN EARS"

"Mark you're making a bigger deal out of this then it has to be"

"Oh I am? I'll tell you what when you're in my shoes then you can judge. Until then go fuck yourself"

"All I did was what I always do"

Mark just pointed at the door. Sadly Timmy and Andy left.

"I wouldn't have," Timmy began sticking his head back.

"Out"

Seeing his best friend crying Roger felt sorry for Mark.

"Hey Mark"

"Yeah?"

"I don't forgive you yet, but I want to"

"And I want you to forgive me so what's the problem"

"The problem is the way you treated April"

"Roger you don't understand-"

"What makes you think I don't understand"

"The fact that you're acting like this"

Roger sighed.

"Mark would you like to hear a song I wrote. It's about you and Sara"

"Really"

"Yeah. I wrote it from your prospective"

"Can I hear it?"

Roger strummed his guitar.

She's got to do what she's got to do

And I've got to like it or not

She's got dreams too big for this town

And she needs to give them a shot

Wherever they are

Looks like I'm all ready to leave

With nothing left to pack

There ain't no room for me in that car

Even if she asked me to tag along

God, I got to be strong

I'm at the starting line of the rest of my life

As ready as I've ever been

Got the hunger and the stars in my eyes

The prize is mine to win

She's waiting on my blessings before she hits that open road

Well, baby, get ready, (oh I'm ready) get set, don't go

Looks things are fallen into place

Feels like they're fallen apart

I've painted this big old smile on my face

To hide my broken heart

If only she knew

This is where you don't say what you want so bad to say

This is where I want to

But I won't get in the way of her and her dreams

And spreading her wings (my wings, fly)

I'm at the starting line of the rest of my life

As ready as I've ever been

Got the hunger and the stars in my eyes

The prize is mine to win

She's waiting on my blessings before she hits that open road

Well, (Gotta get ready to go)

Baby, get ready, get set,

(set) don't go

I'm at the starting line of the rest of my life

As ready as I've ever been

(Never be alright

Got the hunger and the stars in my eyes

The prize is mine to win (I'll be okay)

She's waiting on my blessings before she hits that open road

Well, baby, get ready,

(woah) get set, please don't go

Don't go, (let me go now, ready)

Don't do (I'll be alright, I'll be okay,

No that i'll be thinkin of you, each and every day

She's got to do what she's got to do

Let me go now

She's got to do what she's got to do

I gotta do what I gotta do

She's got to do what she's got to do

Fly...


	15. You'll be in my heart

Disclaimer: I don't own Rent or any of the orginal characters nor do I own the song. Thank you Sara for the suggestion for the song

* * *

For some people pregnancy really agreed with them

For some people pregnancy really agreed with them. April was NOT one of those people.

"I don't know why they call it morning sickness," April moaned after the third morning of throwing up without a break, "they should call it morning, afternoon and evening sickness"

Gently Roger rubbed her back.

"If you had an abortion-" Mark began but was cut off with a deadly look.

"I'm only suggesting"

"Mark," Roger said, "I think you should leave the apartment today."

"Okay. I'll go filming"

"Yeah fine," Roger said with a sigh.

He handed Mark his camera.

After Mark had left Roger fixed some chicken soup for April, which she thankfully managed to keep down.

"I'm sorry I've been getting so sick," she cried.

Instantly Roger's arm was around her.

"You're doing nothing wrong," he told her, "You have nothing to apologize for.

"Hey Rog," she said, "how about we go to dinner tonight. I have a craving for cheeseburgers and fries."

"Sure"

He had to laugh at least to himself. She was so easy to please.

Mood swings were a major issue for her too. One day she was having a particularly bad day and she just burst into tears.

"April," Mark asked, "what's wrong?"

"I don't know," she said, "it was a rough day and it is probably just hormones"

"Well," Mark said, "you know what I have to say about that"

Roger fixed Mark a glare that could kill.

"It's okay baby," he said to her. After she's quieted down he took his guitar and played a song to her.

Come stop your crying

It will be all right

Just take my hand Hold it tight I will protect you

From all around you

I will be here

Don't you cry For one so small

,you seem so strong

My arms will hold you,

Keep you safe and warm

This bond between us

Can't be broken

I will be here

Don't you cry 'Cause you'll be in my heart

Yes, you'll be in my heart

From this day on

Now and forever more You'll be in my heart

No matter what they say

You'll be here in my heart, always

Why can't they understand

The way we feel

They just don't trust

What they can't explain

I know we're different but,

Deep inside us

We're not that different at all And you'll be in my heart

Yes, you'll be in my heart

From this day on

Now and forever more Don't listen to them

'Cause what do they know

We need each other

,to have, to hold

They'll see in time

I know When destiny calls you

You must be strong

I may not be with you

But you've got to hold on

They'll see in time

I know

We'll show them together 'Cause you'll be in my heart

Yes, you'll be in my heart

From this day on,

Now and forever more Oh, you'll be in my heart

No matter what they say

You'll be in my heart, always

Always


	16. My little girl

Disclaimer: This story is AU so Angel really is a woman

* * *

Mark came in the house in a really bad mood. He slammed the door

"Shush," Roger said

"Oh shush yourself," Mark grummbled

"April's asleep," Roger explained.

"APRIL'S ALWAYS ASLEEP," Mark said annoyed.

Meanwhile Collins decided to take Christine out for a 'father daughter' day. He took her to the amusement park

"Is this your daughter," a young woman squealed.

"Yes," Collins said, "I adopted her"

"Hey cutie," the lady said stooping to her level, "what's your name"

"Christine"

"Hi Christine, I'm Angel"

Collins felt his heart beat faster. This woman, a **woman **for crying out loud had captured his heart. There was something special about this woman.

"I'm Tom Collins," Collins said smiling at her

"Are you single," Angel asked

Collins smiled. _She is outright. I like that about a man... or in this case a woman_,

He couldn't believe it. A woman huh? Well it would be good for Christine if he were in a heterosexual relationship. He liked her. She seemed to like him. Could it grow to love? He found himself writing his phone number down and handing it to her.

"Call me," he said

Angel smiled.

_I will, _she thought

"I like her daddy," Christine said

Back at the apartment Roger and Mark were sitting on the couch

"Mark what the hell is your problem lately"

"You know what my problem is"

"No I don't. You've been acting like a jerk ever since April moved in"

"How?"

"How? 1) you tried to suggest April should be punished for being tricked by Greig-"

"Not for that for getting high"

"2) you attempted to confine her to the loft for three days because she accidentally bumped into your bike"

"She should have watched where she was going and Christine was in the car too"

"3) You hit her with your camera strap"

"She had it coming. She bumped into my camera and could have ruined it"

"You've been acting like a jealous older sibling instead of the mature adult you clam to be"

"Well you know what Roger, I'm dealing with my own issues too. I have a girlfriend that is lying in the hospital dying and I don't have time to baby April"

"Nobody is telling you to baby her"

"You do"

"No I don't"

"Yes you do"

"4)," Roger continued, "you keep telling us to abort Destiny or Roger Jr."

"STOP IT," Mark snapped, "it's a clump of cells"

"No it isn't. It's a baby"

"Clump of cells"

"Baby"

"Cells"

"Baby"

"Cells"

"Baby"

"Cells-"

"Shut up. What are you, two?"

"No. Just because I'm not mollycoddling April doesn't mean I don't love her"

"Yeah you've really been showing it," Roger said sarcastically, "the love is just oozing out of you"

"Hey Christine," Angel said to her before they left, "wanna here a song I wrote. It was for my cousin"

"Uh-huh"

_Gotta hold on easy as I let you go_

_Gonna tell you how much I love you _

_Though you think you already know_

_I remember I thought you looked like an angel _

_Wrapped in pink so soft and warm_

_You've had me wrapped around your finger _

_Since the day you were born_

_Beautiful baby from the outside in _

_Chase your dreams but always know the road _

_That'll lead you home again_

_Go on take on this whole world _

_But to me you know you will always be_

_My little girl_

_When you were in trouble that crooked little smile _

_Would melt my heart of stone_

_Now look at you I've turned around _

_And you've almost grown_

_Sometimes your asleep _

_I whisper I love you in the moonlight at your door_

_As I walk away I hear you say "Angel love you more"_

_Beautiful baby from the outside in _

_Chase your dreams but always know the road _

_That'll lead you home again_

_Go on take on this whole world _

_But to me you know you will always be_

_My little girl_

_Someday some boy will come and ask me for your hand_

_But I won't say yes to him unless I know _

_He's the half that makes you whole_

_He has a poets soul_

_And the heart of a mans man_

_I know he'll say that he's in love, but between you and me_

_He won't be good enough_

_Beautiful baby from the outside in _

_Chase your dreams but always know the road _

_That'll lead you home again_

_Go on take on this whole world _

_But to me you know you will always be_

_My little girl_

Christine smiled and climbed up on Angel's lap.

"Well," said Collins, "it looks like you have a fan"


	17. You can't lose me

Disclaimer: Don't own it

* * *

"Mark," Roger said, "don't you know you'll always be important to me"

"I guess so," Mark said, "but ever since-"

"Honey," April said, "could you bring in some crackers and gingerale?"

"Sure," Roger said. He looked at Mark

"I'll be back in a second"

"I'm so surprised," Mark said sarcastically

Roger brought in the crackers and gingerale to April but he was NOT back in a second. He wasn't back for another fifteen minutes.

"That was the longest second I ever knew"

"Sorry. April wasn't feeling so great"

"Anyway-"

"Look, Mark I know you're feeling hurt and ignored"

"And scared shitless"

"Why are you scared"

"Rog, I need you to come rub my neck. I have a crink in it"

"Damn," he muttered under his breath. The doctor said that could happen and she needed to be massaged out as soon as possible or she could really be injured.

"Coming sweetie"

He turned to Mark

"I'll be back in a minute"

"Yeah right," Mark muttered

It was actually more like a half an hour.

"Long minute"

"She was having a bad crink"

"I know"

"Look Mark," Roger said, "April is my girlfriend"

"I understand that Rog"

"As such-"

"I come second"

"That's not what I said"

"No, but it's how you act"

"Roger, when you get a minute could you get me some soda"

"Sure"

Roger turned to Mark and said, "be back in a few"

"Right," Mark muttered to himself, "and I'm a drag queen"

Finally Roger was able to give his attention to Mark.

"Hey Mark I wrote a song"

"Wow that's new and different"

Roger smiled

"It's about a mother and daughter but I want you to hear it because the message is the same"

"The same as what?"

"You'll see"

Mark nodded and Roger picked up his guitar and started to play

A little girl, a little small for her age

A little too slow for the field day race

Momma's waiting at the finish line

And wipes the teardrops from her eyes

She says, "You did just fine honey, that's okay"

Sometimes life's just that way"

You're gonna lose the race from time to time

"But you're always gonna find

"You can't lose me

"Bet your life

"I am here and I will always be

"Just a wish away

"Wherever you go

"No matter how far

"My love is where you are

**"You won't be lost if you believe**

"You can't lose me"

Momma use to say "Girl it won't be long'

"Til it's time to go out on your own

"Chase your dreams find your place in life

"I know you'll do just fine

"When that day finally came

There were things she needed to but could not say

So I whispered softly as I wiped

The tears from Momma's eyes

"You can't lose me

"Bet your life

"I am here and I will always be

"Just a wish away

"Wherever I go"No matter how far

"My love is where you are

"You won't be lost if you believe

"You can't lose me"

"And Mark," Roger concluded, "No matter how much of a butt you are you can't and won't ever lose me"


	18. When you walk through a storm

Disclaimer: Credit goes to Sara for the song idea.

* * *

Weeks passed. Sara continued to grow weaker. Mark was in despair. One day he walked in the loft and found April in tears.

"What's wrong now," he asked crossly,

"Look Mark," Roger said gently trying to comfort April, "now isn't the time"

"What the hell else is new," Mark snapped, "what's wrong April, morning sickness. That's your own GOD-DAMN FAULT BECAUSE YOU WOULDN'T LISTEN TO Me"

"Shut up," April said and Mark went to slap her but Roger was quicker then he was.

"Mark," he said holding his arm back, "stop it RIGHT now. You don't know what you're talking about"

"Let me guess. Did poor Apwol misscwary the baby? Best thing to ever happen to you"

"No! You want to know what's wrong I'll tell you," Roger exploded, "April's cousin Maria is dead"

"What? Yeah right"

Roger finally had enough.

"Get Out Of The Loft NOW," he hissed, "and don't come back until you learn some GOD-DAMN MANORS AND THE WAY TO TREAT PEOPLE"

"Fine"

"Fine"

"FINE"

Mark slammed the door. April continued to sob into Roger's shoulder. Roger rocked her back and forth and gently sang to her.

_When you walk through a storm_

_Hold your chin up high_

_And don't be afraid of the dark._

_At the end of a storm_

_Is a golden sky_

_And the sweet, silver song of a lark._

_Walk on, through the wind,_

_Walk on, through the rain,_

_Though your dreams be tossed and blown._

_Walk on, walk on with hope in your heart,_

_And you'll never walk alone,_

_You'll never walk alone._


	19. I'll stand by you

Disclaimer: I don't own Rent or any of it's orignal characters. Credit goes to Sara for inspiring the song and the idea for this chapter

* * *

Mark ran to the park. He sat down on the swing and couldn't help but cry.

"Mark?"

He looked up.

"Timmy!"

"Hey how are you doing man"

"Horrible," Mark told Timmy. Timmy was Sara's cousin and Mark's friend, "Roger and April are having a baby now"

"That's great"

"Yeah, I guess"

"You don't seem very happy about it"

"I'm not. I mean how can I be?"

"What do you mean," Timmy asked putting a hand on his friend's back.

"Well to be honest, I'm a little bit jealous of them. Roger still has his love while I'm losing mine. I'm losing everything that makes my life worth living"

Timmy nodded

"That can be hard," he acknowledge

"It's worse then the worst pain I had ever felt. I would go through anything to make her better"

Timmy sighed.

"It's beyond your control"

"I KNOW DAMNIT and that's what makes it so bad. It's like I've turned into this bitter person and I can't change it. I can't make things right"

Timmy was silent for a minute.

"Mark," he said after a minute, "I completely understand what your saying but being bitter towards Roger, and April as well as everyone else who loves you, that isn't about to make her better"

"Timmy don't you get it? I hear talk of 'when she gets better' this and 'when she get's better that' but there is this little voice in the back of my mind that is telling me she's not going to get better. And Timmy, I'm more scared then I've ever been in my life"

"Mark that's understandable. And there is a possibility that she may not recover."

"It seems almost like she's giving up"

"Listen I've known Sara my whole life and Sara is never one to give up. I remember times where she fought so hard for something that seemed almost impossible but she always pulled through"

"But that was different. She's in so much pain now. Part of me thinks that..."

"I know," Timmy said, "it's not like I'm not torturing myself over my cousin's well being also but I can't and I won't push away the people that I love that love me. That would just be dumb"

Mark chuckled and Timmy smiled. Then Timmy got serious.

"Look Mark the day before Sara got sick and went into the hospital she and I had a big fight. To this day I don't even remember what it was about but in anger I did something that I didn't mean to do and I hurt her. She said she would never forgive me. I know that she spoke out of anger and I acted out of anger, and I can't take it back no matter how badly I want to"

"I know," Mark said

"Do you also know that I have yet to forgive myself"

"Why?"

"Because-"

"You didn't mean it what you did"

"I meant it when I did it. Then I hated myself for doing it"

"Would Sara want you to hate yourself"

"Would Sara want **you** to be so bitter towards everyone would loves you, yourself included"

Mark looked up at that voice. It was Roger's.

"No," he admitted, "but I don't know what else to do. It's like when everything happened suddenly I didn't know what to do anymore. Suddenly I felt alone"

Roger hugged his friend.

"Mark you are never alone," he told him, "but I can't have you being a jerk to April especially now"

"Roger I don't mean to be a jerk. I'm just so mad and so scared and more hurt isn't going to do anything but make me bitter"

"Listen Mark," Timmy said, "hurt should be outlawed"

Everyone laughed

"But it exists," he continued

"Ya think"

"I know"

"Yeah so do I and I DON'T LIKE IT"

"I don't think anyone does," Roger said. Then he sat Mark down on the swings.

"I want you hear a song I wrote," Roger told Mark.

"Okay"

Oh, why you look so sad? Tears are in your eyes

Come on and come to me now.

Don't be ashamed to cry, let me see you through

Cause I've seen the dark side too.

When the night falls on you, you don't know what to do,

Nothing you confess could make me love you less

I'll stand by you, I'll stand by you,

Won't let nobody hurt you,

I'll stand by you.

So, if you're mad get mad, don't hold it all inside,

Come on and talk to me now.

And hey, what you got to hide? I get angry too

But I'm alot like you.

When you're standing at the crossroads,

Don't know which path to choose,

Let me come along, cause even if your wrong

I'll stand by you, I'll stand by you,

Won't let nobody hurt you,

I'll stand by you.

Take me into your darkest hour,

And I'll never desert you.I'll stand by you.

And when, when the night falls on you baby,

You're feeling all alone,

You won't be on your own, I'll stand by you.

I'll stand by you

I'll stand by you, won't let nobody hurt you.

I'll stand by you

Take me in into your darkest hour

And I'll never desert you

I'll stand by you.

"Mark," Roger concluded, "when you're ready to behave like the real man I know you can be come back to the loft"


	20. nothing I can do to keep from loving u

Disclaimer: Don't own it

Never did

and unless I'm dang lucky never will

I do however own Joshua

* * *

Mark sat by Sara's bedside holding her hand and stroking her hair trying not to cry.

"Hey baby girl how are you feeling"

Baby girl was his nickname for her. He called her baby girl based on a shirt she wore one time. It said Baby girl on it and he told her he loved her and she was his 'baby girl'. Ever since that he called her baby girl.

The beeps of her heart monitor and the hiss of the respirator was all that responded to him.

"I'm alive but barely living. Baby girl without you in my life it's like there is no point of living. I've become bitter about everything"

Beep Beep Beep Beep Hiss

He sighed in frustration.

"None of this is fair baby girl," he said, "you should be out there living. If anyone should be in this hospital bed it's me"

Again all he heard was the beeps of her heart monitor and the hiss of her respirator.

"I'd give anything to trade places with you."

There was a long pause. But for just a second he thought he felt her squeeze his hand.

"Sara? Honey if you understand me squeeze my hand again"

Nothing. He sighed. Involuntary. He should have known not to get his hopes up.

But somewhere deep in his heart he thought, maybe just maybe he had gotten through to her.

"Do you remember the time we had that big fight. I said or did something hurtful to you but you got back at me. You broke up with me for six months. GOD THAT WAS THE WORST SIX MONTHS OF MY LIFE. I can live without anything but you. Before that I wasn't living I was just... you know... existing. **When I didn't know you, that was different. I didn't know I was just existing. But once I found you and lost you... that was my worst nightmare. **Do you know what it is to lose someone you love... and yet know they're still there? It's like being an inch away from heaven and continuing to slip the other way"

"Poetic description Mark"

Mark looked up and was surprised to see his friend Joshua in the room.

"I volunteer here," Joshua said quickly by way of explanation, "and sometimes they just have me sit with the patients"

"Good. Have you ever sat with her before"

Joshua nodded.

"Man I'm so worried about her"

"I know you are Mar, but she's in good hands"

Mark nodded

"Remember when we were little"

"Hm, that narrows it down," Joshua said sarcastically.

"Wise-ass"

They both laughed.

"Want to hear a song I wrote for her," Mark asked.

"You write songs?"

"Roger and I wrote this one together"

_Here we are_

_Face to face_

_We forget, time and place_

_Hold me now_

_Don't let go_

_Though it hurts _

_And we both know_

_The time we spend together's gonna fly_

_And everything you do to me_

_Is gonna feel so right_

_Baby when you're loving me_

_I feel like I could cry_

_Cause there's nothing I can do_

_To keep from loving you_

_Here we are_

_All alone_

_Trembling hearts, beating strong_

_Reaching out, a breathless kiss_

_I never thought could feel like this_

_I want to stop the time from passing by_

_I wanna close my eyes and feel your lips are touching mine_

_Baby when you're close to me_

_I want you more each time_

_And there's nothing I can do, _

_To keep from loving you_

_Threes nothing I can do_

_I'm helpless in your arms_

_Oh baby what you do_

_I'm in love, this is it_

_There's no turning back this time_

_No no no_

_Here we are_

_Once again_

_But this time were only friends_

_Funny world_

_Sometimes lies_

_Become the game, when loves the prize_

_And though no one knows what's going on inside_

_And all the love I feel for you_

_Is something I should hide_

_When I have you close to me_

_The feelings so sublime_

_That there's nothing I can do_

_To keep from loving you_

_No, no, no, cant keep from loving you baby no, no, no_


	21. Together forever with you

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the orginal characters or the show

* * *

April was once again feeling like she was about to gag the whole world up in a handbasket.

"Ugh," she groaned

"Hey baby," Roger said stroking her hair

"I feel so sick today," April groaned

"I know. I wish that I could take it off you and put it right onto me," he said, "but it will be worth it after that baby is born"

"This child has got to be a girl"

"Why do you say that"

"Because with girls you tend to get morning sickness more then with boys"

Just then April ran into the bathroom again.

"Hey sweetie what to hear a song I wrote you," Roger asked after April got out of the bathroom"

"If you can keep it under a minute cause I'm sure I'll be off and puking again"

_If there's anything you need _

_All you have to do is say _

_Oh, you, you satisfy everything in me _

_We shouldn't waste a single day _

_So don't stop me falling _

_It's destiny calling _

_A power I just can't deny _

_It's never changing _

_Can't you hear me, I'm saying _

_I want you for the rest of my life _

_Together forever and never two parts _

_Together forever we two _

_And don't you know I would move heaven and earth _

_To be together forever with you _

_If they ever get you down _

_There's always something I can do _

_Because I wouldn't ever wanna see you frown _

_I'll always do what's best for you _

_There ain't no mistaking _

_It's true love we're making _

_Something to last for all time _

_It's never changing _

_Can't you hear me, I'm saying _

_I want you for the rest of my life _

_Together forever and never two parts _

_Together forever we two _

_And don't you know_

_I would move heaven and earth _

_To be together forever with you _

_So don't stop me falling _

_It's destiny calling _

_A power I just can't deny _

_It's never changing _

_Can't you hear me, I'm saying _

_I want you for the rest of my life _

_Together forever and never two parts _

_Together forever we two _

_And don't you know I would move heaven and earth _

_To be together forever with you_


	22. The search is over

Disclaimer: I don't own Rent or The Search is over though I modified the song a little bit because it was a song about friendship in my story not romantic love

* * *

"Mark," Collins said, "got a minute?"

"Yeah sure. What's up"

"It's about Sara. The situation is very dire."

"I can kind of figure that out," Mark said without laughing, "so what now"

"The only thing that can save her is a fetal cord transplant"

"A what?"

Collins explained what a fetal cord transplant is.

"So April's pregnant. Maybe her baby's cord will be a match"

"Thought you said she should have an abortion?"

"Collins, do you have to rub it in?"

"Sorry Mark. I'll call April to get permission to test them"

Fifteen minutes later Mark and Roger were sitting in the waiting room.

"Hey Rog, I wrote a song for you"

"You did?"

"Yeah. It's one about our friendship"

"Let's hear it"

"Okay. It's called The Search Is Over"

How can I convince you

What you see is real

Who am I to blame you

For doubting what you feel

I was always reachin',

You were just a friend I knew

I took for granted the friend I have in you

I was living for a dream,

Loving for a moment

Taking on the world,

That was just my style

Now I look into your eyes

I can see forever,

The search is over

You were with me all the while

Can our friendship last forever,

Will it fall apart

At times it's so confusing,

These questions of the heart

You followed me through changes

And patiently you'd wait

Till I came to my senses through

Some miracle of fate

I was living for a dream,

Loving for a moment

Taking on the world,

That was just my style

Now I look into your eyes

I can see forever,

The search is over

You were with me all the while

Now the miles stretch out behind me

Loves that I have lost

Broken hearts lie victims of the game

Then good luck it finally struck

Like lightning from the blue

Every highway leading me back to you

Now at last I hug you,

Now all is said and done

The search has come full circle

Our destinies are one

So if you ever loved me

Show me that you give a damn

You'll know for certain

The friend I really am

I was living for a dream,

Loving for a moment

Taking on the world,

That was just my style

Then I touched your hand,

I could hear you whisper

The search is over,

I am right here at your side

Just then Collins came out smiling

"It matched"


	23. Sarabeth

Disclaimer: Credit goes to my friend Sara for this chapter. I simply changed a few little things

* * *

"What do you mean it matched?"

"Just what I said, Rog. What do you think?" Mark inquired, hoping that his friend would say 'yes'.

"Hell no, Mark. I want this baby."

"I want my girlfriend to live."

"You're being selfish."

"_I'm_ being selfish? What about you?" Mark argued back.

"Leave me alone." Roger growled.

"Roger, I want to talk about this."

"Well, I don't."

"Why are you being such an asshole all of a sudden?"

"I'm not being an asshole."

"Yes, you are - you're being a stupid, stubborn asshole."

"Get out of the loft - I don't want you here tonight."

"Where am I supposed to go? It's pouring outside."

"I don't care, but I don't want you here tonight."

"Why can't we talk about this?" Mark inquired. He hated it when he and Roger fought.  
"Because I want this baby. End of conversation."

"ENOUGH," Collins yelled, "this is a FETAL CORD transplant. The baby will be delivered via C Section. Then the fetal cord will be transplanted into Sara. April will NOT lose the baby and the baby will NOT die.

Roger and Mark looked at each other. They didn't know that. That would work.

"Okay," Roger whispered, "as long as April is okay with it, I'm okay with it"

The afternoon of the transplant arrived and both guys were spending the last few moments with their loved ones before they went to the operating room. Mark squeezed Sara's hand as she was put under anesthesia and wheeled to the operating room. He then went to join Roger in the waiting room.

"Hey, Mark - I wrote a song for Sara." Roger piped up, handing a piece of notebook paper to him. On the top was one word - Skin. Underneath it, two words were written: For Sarabeth. Sarabeth was actually Sara's real name, but she hated it, so she had people call her Sara.

"I would love to hear it, since it sounds so beautiful." Mark told him. Roger nodded and patted his thigh in rhythm to the song.

"_Sarabeth is scared to death  
To hear what the doctor will say  
She hasn't been well  
Since the day that she fell  
And the bruises just won't go away  
So she sits and see waits with her boyfriend  
Flips through an old magazine  
Till a the nurse with a smile  
Stands at the door  
And says will you please come with me_

Sarabeth is scared to death  
Cause the doctor just told her the news  
Between the red cells and white  
Something's not right  
But we're gonna take care of you

Six chances in ten it won't come back again  
With the therapy were gonna try  
It's just been approved  
It's the strongest there is  
I think we caught it in time

_Sarabeth closes her eyes  
She dreams she's dancing  
Around and around without any cares  
And her very first love is holding her close  
And the soft wind in blowing her hair_  
_Was the coolest of any surprise  
And she cried when she gathered it all in her hands  
The proof that she couldn't deny_  
_Her new friend is at the door  
Her boyfriend ushers him in  
And when he takes off his cap  
They all start to cry  
Because this morning where his hair had been  
Softly she touches just skin_" Roger sang. Mark felt tears in his eyes - this was the kindest thing his best friend had ever done for him.

Sarabeth is scared to death  
As she sits holding her mom  
Says it would be a mistake  
For someone to take  
A girl with no hair to the prom

Oh, just this morning right there on her pillow

Sarabeth closes her eyes  
She dreams she's dancing  
Around and around without any cares  
And her very first love is holding her close  
And the soft wind is blowing her hair

It's a quarter to 7

They go dancing  
Around and around without any cares  
And her very first true love is holding her close  
And for a moment she isn't scared.

"Roger, I can't thank you enough." Mark told him, wiping the tears out of his eyes.

"Mark, are you crying?" Roger asked.

"My allergies are acting up." Mark answered quickly. Roger just rolled his eyes and turned so that he was facing his friend.

Just then Collins came out. "Congratulations," he said, "You have a daughter" Roger almost cried in relief.

Mark pulled his friend into a hug and was grateful that they were friends to the end.

Twelve hours later, Collins entered the room, a frown on his face. Mark and Roger stood up as he walked over to them.

"Col, what's wrong?" Mark asked, a knot in his stomach.

"Nothing, it's been a long day." Collins answered, motioning for his friends to sit down.

"How are the girls doing?" Roger inquired.

"They're fine and are in recovery. You two can see them tomorrow." Collins told them. Roger and Mark nodded in agreement.

"Do you two want to go out to dinner? Miranda has everything covered, that's why she sent me out here." Collins said.

"Sure. Can we go to that new café down the street - the Dancing Cat? I heard it's pretty good." Mark interjected.

"Yeah. We can try that - the Life is going out of business, anyway." Collins told the two of them as they headed to the elevator.

The three of them walked six blocks it took to get to the café, talking and laughing the entire time.


	24. Without You

Disclaimer: Thank you Jamie for the roster idea

* * *

Destiny April Erikson Davis was born on November 4th and she was the most beautiful baby that Roger had ever seen. She was 5 pounds 1 ounce and was born with a set of lungs on her that would have made a Roster proud. Roger fell in love with her the moment that he laid eyes on her. If April was his heart this baby was his entire existence. He sat down and started singing to her.

Just as Roger put her back in her bassinette Collins came in. Tears were streaming down his face.

"What is it," Roger asked, "did something happen-"

"Roger sit down," Collins said gently.

Roger obeyed him and sat down.

"Destiny," he begin, "has down syndrome… not severe down syndrome but enough to effect her"

Roger felt his inside churning.

"Will she be okay," he asked feeling a desperate need to hold his daughter close to him and never let go of her.

"She will be," Collins said, "but there's another problem. April has fallen into a coma"

"M…may I see her?"

"Of course," Collins said.

Roger kissed his baby's forehead.

"I'll be back as soon as I can sweetheart," he told her.

When he got to April's room he sat with her, held her hand and sang to her.

Without you, the ground thaws, the rain falls, the grass grows.  
Without you, the seeds root, the flowers bloom, the children play.  
The stars gleam, the poets dream, the eagles fly, without you.  
The earth turns, the sun burns, but I die, without you.

Without you, the stars roar the breeze warms, the girl smiles, the cloud moves.  
Without you, the tides change, the boys run, the oceans crash.  
The crowds roar, the days soar, the babies cry, without you.  
The moon glows, the river flows, but I die, without you.

The world revives—

Colors renew—

But I know blue, only blue, lonely blue, within me blue.

Without you.  
Without you, the hand gropes, the ear hears, the pulse beats

Without you, the eyes gaze, the legs walk, the lungs breathe

The mind churns!

The mind churns!

The heart yearns!

The heart yearns!

The tears dry, without you.  
Life goes on, but I'm gone.  
Cause I die, without you.

Without you.

Without you.

Without you.


	25. Baby Mine

Disclaimer: I own the baby and nobody else in this chapter

* * *

Roger sat by his daughter's side. He thought he would cry. _Down syndrome. _She would never be able to be like a normal child. She would always have struggles.

_Baby mine don't you cry_

_Baby mine dry your eyes_

_Rest your head next to my heart_

_Never to part baby of mine_

As Roger sang to the little girl he could swear he saw a smile cross her face. 'How could she have down syndrome' he thought to himself, 'she seems so bright'. He picked her up and rocked her back and forth. All he knew was that he loved her. She was his baby and she was his world.

_Little one when you play_

_Don't you mind what they say_

_Let those eyes sparkle and shine_

_Never a tear, baby of mine_

It didn't matter that she was imperfect. It didn't even matter to him that she had Down syndrome. She was the most perfect baby that he had ever seen. He never felt love like this before, ever. Even his love for April didn't compare to this.

_If they knew sweet little you_

_They'd end up loving you too_

_All the same people who'll scold you_

_What they'd give just for the right to hold you_

_From you're head down to your toes_

_You're not much goodness knows_

_But you're so precious to me_

_Sweet as can be_

_Baby of mine_


	26. Angel's Lullaby

Roger decided to bring Destiny into her mother's room.

"April you did great," he told her, "I am so proud of you"

All Roger could see was the rise and fall of April's heart monitor. It wasn't April. Destiny seemed to sense that and started to fuss a little.

_Midnight moonlight shining through the curtain lace_

Roger started to sing that song to her

_Paints a perfect picture on your perfect face_

"I know you're going to come through this. I need you and so does Destiny."

Destiny started fussing. Roger rocked her a little bit but she kept fussing.

_One sweet angel sleeping in my arms_

_You are the promise I knew he would keep_

_You are the gift that makes my world complete_

_You'll never know how much I love you_

_I'll still keep on telling you my whole life long_

_Now I believe in miracles_

_You're the reason why_

_So Dream on as I sing you _

_My angel's lullaby_

Roger looked down and saw that he had one sweet angel sleeping in his arms and another sweet angel sleeping next to him.


End file.
